12751 Marblestone Dr, Suite 200, Woodbridge, VA 22192 | 3930 Walnut St, Suite 250, Fairfax, VA 22030 | 
info@thecenterforconnection.com | (703) 878-3290 |

Elayne Smith

Elayne Smith LMFT Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist The Center for Connection Healing and Change

Elayne Smith, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Founder

She/her/hers – what are personal pronouns and why do they matter?

I created CCHC as a space for clients to deepen their connection to both themselves and their loved ones. I believe that the degree to which we experience our relationships as satisfying and responsive holds great power for our well-being.

CCHC was also created as a place that invests in the work of creative and skilled therapists. The Center offers a place for therapists to thrive, grow, and develop their professional identity as relationship-focused therapists.

Clients I work with: Adult individuals, couples, and groups. LGBTQIA-affirming and culturally humble therapist.

Issues I work with: Communication, emotional intimacy, recurring disagreements, family of origin issues, self-worth, emotional dysregulation, adult attachment, sexual issues, trust, chronic illness, substance use and process addiction, grief, anxiety, and depression 

To read more about Elayne, click here

Alexandria Harz

Alexandria Harz, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Clinical Supervisor, Systemic Supervision Program

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If you are feeling disconnected, disempowered, or stuck, I can assist you in identifying and changing the thought patterns and ways of relating which might be holding you back. By prioritizing your sense of safety, welcoming heavy emotions, and guiding you to meet unknown parts of yourself, I can support you in finding freedom from the patterns in which you feel trapped.

I work with couples to understand and de-escalate their painful dance by going below the conflict and talking about the hurts, needs, and fractures that have been missed or are unresolved. Couples are supported to explore what they need from each other in their moments of need or when their dance is in full swing.

Where there have been fractures in trust or security, it is possible to repair these hurts and restore emotional security. Couples leave therapy feeling clearer about how to avoid their dance, share what happens on the inside of them during moments of stress, and be responsive when their partner reaches for them.

Clients I work with: Adult individuals, couples, and groups. LGBTQIA-affirming and culturally humble therapist.

Issues I work with: Anxiety and panic attacks, depression, emotion dysregulation, substance use, trauma, relationships, communication patterns, emotional intimacy, trust, family of origin experiences, sex, grief and loss, self-esteem, and chronic illness.

To read more about Alexandria, click here

Jennifer Rulli

Jennifer Rulli, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Director of Clinical and Growth and Training

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Early family of origin experiences lay the foundation for internal and interpersonal patterns that continue to play out in later life. Though these patterns are not set in stone, they are often automatic and hard to recognize, change, and understand. Together we can explore the ways in which our adaptations may have served us well in earlier times but are no longer proving to be helpful, effective, or authentic.

In my work with teens, we explore ways to process and cope with distress, supporting your teen to feel more confident and less burdened by anxiety. Together, we find ways to balance the need to explore the world and emerging identity with independence and individuality with the security of connection and belonging.

Parenting can feel like a roller coaster as children’s needs change from one developmental stage to the next or when circumstances change the support needs your child may have. We can work together to help you adapt to these needs and work as a parenting/caregiving team.

In working with individuals, I value working with parts of clients that may be overwhelmed by anxiety, depression, loneliness, confusion, or shame. Honoring our wounded parts allows us to learn more about our unmet needs, nurture self-compassion, and engage differently in relationships. I also work with major life transitions/changes so that you can be true to your own needs and values even when stress or hurt feels overwhelming.

Clients I work with: Adolescents aged 12 to 18 and their families/caregivers, parents and caregivers, and adult individuals. I offer EMDR to adult individuals. LGBTQIA-affirming and culturally humble therapist.

Issues I work with: Adolescent and parent relationships, increasing connection in relationships, family of origin issues, managing emotions, trauma, ADHD, anxiety, depression, shame, self-esteem, identity exploration, chronic illness/special needs, life transitions, gender/sexual identity, school issues, neuro-diversity.

To read more about Jennifer, click here

Amanda Kelsheimer

Amanda Kelsheimer, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Clinical Director – Family Therapy Services, PCIT Trainer and Supervisor

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I support clients to creatively turn their pain into coping skills, missed connections into secure relationships, and problematic behaviors into strengths and resiliency. My goal is to make therapy a positive and rewarding experience for you and/or your family.

Sometimes children and families are faced with difficult circumstances that are stressful or overwhelming. Families may also go through experiences that disrupt the relationships they have with each other, impacting the security and connection they may have previously felt.

Parenting through these times is hard and knowing how best to help your child/teen to navigate the challenges of life can feel stressful and overwhelming. I support children and caregivers alike to learn new ways of responding and supporting one another as they navigate different developmental stages, life challenges, or transitions.

I also work with adults who struggle with feelings of unworthiness, difficulty organizing or tolerating emotions, or relationship patterns that don’t feel satisfying or secure. Where you have needed to develop protections or believe that secure connection is not available to you, I can help you to work through the unresolved pain that limits your present reality. You deserve to feel worthy, valuable, safe, and seen.

Clients I work with: Children and teens (aged 2 to 18), families, parents and caregivers, and adult individuals.

Issues I work with: Parenting practices, school performance, behavioral concerns, communication, life transitions, grief or loss, blended families, multigenerational families, gender identity, sexual identity, youth and teen exploration of self/identity, strengthening attachment and/or connection, defiance, impulsivity, dysregulation, tantrums, autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, separation,  finding shared parenting strategies, social skills, military life, bullying, self-esteem, and shame.

To read more about Amanda, click here

Samantha Blancher

Samantha Blancher, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

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My experience is that many of us have had to find ways to adapt and survive moments of disconnect, invalidation, or criticism. This can often mean we hold beliefs about ourselves that are limiting, worry that we have to hide or minimize parts of who we are, deny certain emotions, hustle for our worth, and/or build up layers of protection.

I help couples get curious about their current relationship dynamics and the ways these create either connection or conflict. As we start to make sense of your well-worn cycles, I can help you make space to better understand each of your core beliefs about connection, the ways your raw spots show up in your cycle, and the different strategies each of you have for managing relationship distress.

I support families to more openly discuss their relationship dynamics, what they need from each other, and to navigate the constant process of change that this developmental stage often presents. Parenting a teen is a truly challenging time, and I am invested in supporting parents with the delicate balance of nurture and engagement, with structure and healthy challenges as they prepare their teen(s)for adulthood.

Issues I work with: Communication, emotional intimacy, relationship dynamics, trauma, anxiety, depression,  recurring disagreements, emotional closeness and security, life transitions, self-worth, military life, identity, guilt and shame, peer relationships, school concerns, parenting, the needs of the LGBTQI+ community, and military life.

To read more about Samantha, click here

Laura Wakefield

Laura Wakefield, Licensed Professional Counselor

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I work to help couples to understand their emotions, needs for connection, hurts, and stress-mitigation systems. This process helps couples to understand the different ways they deal with relationship distress, how this can create conflict or distance, and the ways in which their well-worn dance is created and maintained.

Sessions include going underneath the conflict and distance to learn more about the missed needs, unseen emotions, and protections that are showing up for each partner. My goal is to help clients understand what is happening within them and between them and then find more effective ways to communicate, build safety, and enjoy greater emotional intimacy.

With individual clients, I seek to help them understand their experiences of connection, how these have shaped them, and how these might be serving or limiting them. Many times, this involves reconnecting with aspects of ourselves we may have left behind due to one reason or another, and learning more about how to create safety, rest, and expression for our mind and body.

Clients I work with: Couples and adult individuals. LGBTQIA-affirming and culturally humble therapist.

Issues I work with: Relationship concerns and conflicts such as communication, emotional intimacy, recurring patterns, unresolved hurts, or fractures of trust and security. Difficulties in managing and coping with OCD, anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotion regulation. Self-worth/self-esteem, identity, family of origin issues, grief and loss, shame, guilt, life transitions, and chronic illness.

To read more about Laura, click here

Maureen Flaherty

Maureen Flaherty, Licensed Professional Counselor 

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I specialize in the deep, change-worthy work of family-of-origin issues, reduction of the symptoms of mood disorders, decision-making about the future of relationships, the issues of living that are specific to men, and the treatment of substance use issues.

In my twenty years of practice as an agent of change, I have come to know that many of our emotional and relational difficulties can be connected to the experiences we have growing up in our family. My goal is to help you resolve and heal the unfinished business of the past so that you don’t have to keep recreating them in the present.

My style of therapy is targeted, structured, and focused on the creation of lasting change. I believe that therapy should help to restructure your experiences so that you see life through a different lens. This new lens allows for continued change, long after therapy has ended.

Much of my clinical experience and expertise has been in working with men. Cultural expectations of men often look to them to be independent, self-sufficient, stoic, problem-solvers, and invulnerable. I support men to explore more effective ways to manage stress, relationships, emotions, and problem-solving.

Clients I work with: Adult individuals, groups, and families. LGBTQIA-affirming and culturally humble therapist.

Issues I work with: Anxiety, depression, trauma, chronic illness, shame, guilt, trust, self-worth, identity, relationships, emotional intimacy and connection, emotion regulation, family-of-origin issues, childhood experiences, men’s issues, and adult family relationships.

To read more about Maureen, click here

Ruth Pascoe

Ruth Pascoe, Licensed Professional Counselor

She/her/hers – what are personal pronouns and why do they matter?

Finding our way back to our whole self can be a difficult journey, one that asks us to connect with feelings not yet owned, wounds not yet processed, and longings not yet voiced. When our needs for comfort, validation, protection, and predictability are not met in our relationships, we can be vulnerable to feeling unworthy, unsafe, and that our needs are unimportant.

The strategies we have for dealing with our unmet needs often show up in similar patterns for managing stress, distress, and disconnection. Some move towards others, hoping that if we fight loud, long, or hard enough, our pain and anger will eventually be acknowledged. Some move away from others, minimizing or numbing emotions to keep from being hurt or judged. 

I work with individuals and couples to reconnect, build security, and identify and share unmet needs.

We consider the ways relationships have shaped you and influenced present-day interactions. Together, we will bring understanding to places of reactivity, validation to still-open wounds, and clarity to unmet needs. I work in a manner that fosters inner resilience, strength in vulnerability, and taps into the unparalleled power of connection.

Clients I work with: Adult individuals and couples. LGBTQIA-affirming and culturally humble therapist.

Issues I work with: Communication, emotional connection, and intimacy, relationship patterns, self-esteem, shame, guilt, trust, identity, life transitions, limiting beliefs, grief, trauma, issues from childhood, emotion dysregulation, anxiety, and depression.

To read more about Ruth, click here

Kyle ‘Gus’ Stephan

Kyle ‘Gus’ Stephan, Supervisee in Social Work

He/him/his – what are personal pronouns and why do they matter?

My role is to help you make sense of who you are and how you got here, what ways of relating are working and where there are misses, and how to create the relationships you long for. 

In my work with children, teens, and families, I know the behaviors of your child or teen can always be made sense of when we view them through the lens of seeking connection, security, co-regulation, or validation. 

I also know that as a parent or caregiver, your heartfelt goals are to communicate to your child or teen that they are important, valued, and loved. 

I make space for everyone’s resourceful, surprising, brilliant, and sometimes limiting patterns, responses, and adaptations. Together, we can build a shared language for talking about your relationships, behaviors, and hurts so that you can navigate the trails and joys of life through every developmental stage. We all need help to build out our toolbox and learn what works for each person.

In my work with couples, I can help you explore your relationship patterns, playing out in conscious or unconscious ways, that create disconnection, stress, and conflict within your relationship.

I honor the difficulty, pain, and incongruent nature of conflict with the very person you long to be closest to. Recurring cycles in your love relationship can be extremely taxing, disorienting, and frustrating. I can help you find opportunities for connection, uncover the needs that underpin your dance, and support you to be more open, accessible, and responsive to one another.

Clients I work with: Children aged 2 to 18, families, caregivers/parents, couples, and adult individuals

Issues I work with: Anxiety, depression, parenting strategies, emotional regulation, coping skills, interpersonal and family dynamics, communication, loss and grief, identity exploration, life transitions, self-worth, trust, attachment, defiance, behavioral concerns, school issues, and men’s mental health.

To read more about Gus, click here

Christopher Thomas

 

Christopher Thomas, Resident in Professional Counseling

He/him/his – what are personal pronouns and why do they matter?

Our relational experiences help us know what is loveable about us, what needs we can expect to be met, which emotions are acceptable, and what kind of connections are available to us.

Whether I am working with an individual, couple, or family, I serve to help clients understand the emotional needs that underpin their patterns of interaction and ways to pay attention to these more directly. 

In my work with couples/relationships, I focus on strengthening trust, safety, and communication between partners. Where one of you pursues for connection, resolution, and validation and the other withdraws to dial down the tension, avoid conflict, and reduce the emotional intensity, I can help you to slow this dance down.

In my work with families (aged 2 to 18) I use a structural family approach with an emphasis on attachment and communication. My goal is to make counseling a positive and rewarding experience for you and your family.

Most behaviors are underpinned by an unmet need, emotion dysregulation or overwhelm, or a missed connection. My role is to help families get to the root of what is happening so that the need can be met directly, and problematic behaviors are no longer needed. 

Clients I work with: Pre-teens and teens (both individually and with their families), adult individuals, couples, and groups. LGBTQIA-affirming and culturally humble therapist.

Issues I work with: Depression, anxiety, trauma, social anxiety, perfectionism, chronic pain, communication, trust, emotional intimacy, relationships, issues from childhood, emotion regulation, boundaries, codependency, self-worth, identity, shame, guilt, redefining masculinity, conflict avoidance, attachment, and the mind-body connection.

To read more about Christopher, click here