Anwar Taylor
Anwar Taylor, Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy
He/him/his – what are personal pronouns and why do they matter?
Clients I work with: Adult individuals and couples
Issues I work with: Relationship patterns, communication, emotional intimacy, trust, life transitions, grief and loss, trauma, identity, self-worth, family of origin/issues from childhood, intergenerational patterns, premarital/pre-commitment concerns, attachment styles, emotion regulation, anxiety, depression, sexual concerns, men’s mental health, military life, and first responders.
My Background
One of our fundamental struggles as a human is how to be connected, vulnerable, open, and trusting. Being in a relationship is what we long for most and our human brains are wired in such a way that secure connection is the greatest resource we have against the challenges of life. The dilemma of relationships is that they can also be the source of our greatest pain, distress, and hardship. I walk alongside my clients as they grapple with what it means to be human; how to belong and be an individual, how to risk and protect, and how to be open and be responsive.
Relationships are certainly complex and challenging. When we find ourselves in conflict, disconnection, or misunderstanding with the people we love the most, we all experience distress. Our protective strategies come alive, we shut down, criticize, go numb, or up the ante. We are all vulnerable to getting into the same old dance with those we love, talking in different relational languages we can’t seem to reconcile, and fighting about the same things over and over. Over time, this can lead to feelings of hopelessness and frustration.
My role is to offer a map for making sense of what is happening on the inside of each person, and what is underpinning the recurring patterns you find yourself in. Together, we slow your cycles down so we can uncover the emotions and unmet needs for connection that drive your interactions. We all have different ways of managing relationship upsets, dealing with emotions, and navigating moments of disconnection, stress, and pain. We are all beautifully imperfect people, coming with our vulnerabilities, wounds, limiting beliefs, protectors, and survival strategies trying to create secure connections with our important people. You don’t have to grapple with this on your own, and getting what you need is possible.
Whether you are accessing individual or couples therapy, I want you to know I’m in your corner. I live by the quote, “People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Before ever offering guidance, I first make space to connect with you, learn about your struggles, and get clear about how I can be of service to their goals. Along the way, I can help you know how my work is grounded in well-researched, evidence-based models, neuroscience, and the science of attachment so you can feel confident in the map I offer to help you create lasting change. Any tools, interventions, or information I offer are designed to fit your particular needs.
While I serve as the guide through the therapeutic process, I am invested in supporting you to build your own internal working map for getting what you need, individually and relationally. Together, we can build on your innate strengths, resources, and resiliency so you feel confident and clear about the change you are creating, retain ownership of your successes, and trust that you can lean upon yourself in future moments of need.
Along the way, you may uncover experiences that send an inaccurate message about who you are, what is available to you, and what you can ask from others. Where you have developed some limiting beliefs, protections, or relational strategies that no longer fit, we can make space to explore, process, and heal. My goal is for you to release the things that hold you back, so you are freed up to live with more confidence, security, and openness in the present long after therapy has ended.
Couples Therapy
I work with couples wanting to work on communication, emotional intimacy, and connection, recurring cycles of conflict and/or disconnection, rebuilding trust, sexual concerns, life transitions and changing relationship dynamics, shifting into new levels of commitment, issues from childhood or other adult love relationships, and identity.
Although these areas are common issues among couples, you and your relationship are unique. Before we can determine how best to help you create the change you long for, we’ll explore every aspect of your uniqueness. I take time to learn more about your family/relationship histories, social life, physical health, spiritual life, and values.
I’m interested in all of the ways that life has shaped both of you, how this influences the ways you show up for each other, and where the misses are taking place. I can help you uncover the roots of your differences and then restructure how you connect, one interaction at a time. My goal is to help you become softer and more open, as well as accessible and responsive to one another, and find ways to repair and reconnect when a miss inevitably arises.
As a systemically oriented therapist, I understand that we are influenced by both our internal world, what is happening in our relationships, and also the world around us. Whatever concern you are facing as a couple, I want to help you find ways to lean on each other through moments of stress, find a common language for dealing with emotions and conflict, deepen your emotional connection, and find ways back to each other when a conflict occurs.
During our early work, I will help you track and organize your cycle, and then take the elevator down into the emotional and relational roots of your dance. I typically work with partners who are vulnerable to a pursue-withdraw pattern, with one partner pursuing connection, validation, and responsiveness, and the other partner withdrawing to dial down the tension, protect against further conflict, and avoid criticism or attack. Clients walk away from this session with the understanding that their opposing strategies for managing connection and conflict (and the ensuing misses in connection) are the problem.
I can then guide you, moment-to-moment, in changing this dance, helping you find more effective strategies that build connection, security, and intimacy. Where there are old hurts and wounds that need healing, I can walk you through the process of repair so you can access a renewed sense of hope and strength for the future of the relationship.
I primarily utilize Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy in my work with couples and adult individuals, evidence-based models that provide me with a clear map for guiding couples through the process of restructuring the way they relate and creating lasting change. They offer a mix of skill building, psychoeducation about the science of human relationships, and the deep work of getting to the root of your struggles. I also draw upon Family Systems, Attachment, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Narrative, Psychodynamic, and Existential orientations. This integrative approach allows me to tend to your specific needs, offer flexibility and responsiveness to whatever may arise out of our work, and help you reach your goals as effectively and efficiently as possible.
Family Therapy
In family counseling, my client is your familial relationships. I work with both parents and teens to understand what needs, emotions, and patterns of interaction are contributing to your struggles. Together, we will slow your interactions down so everyone can better understand what needs are trying to be expressed, where the misses or misunderstandings are taking place, and how to get communication and connection back on track. It is my experience that this process allows family members to better understand each other, be more attuned and responsive, and be more open to boundaries, guidance, or correction where this is needed.
Whether your teen is navigating emotional regulation, coping skills, social or family relationships, school demands, identity or self-worth concerns, anxiety, depression, or life transitions, I can be alongside the whole family.
I tend to stray from a medical diagnostic perspective and offer a more humanistic/holistic approach to well-being and relationships. Whatever struggles you or your family are grappling with won’t be pathologized or labeled, but rather seen and organized as a normal part of the human experience.
Context and history are key and everything you do is a response to the ways in which life has shaped you. When we work together, my goal is not to focus on helping you cope with symptoms alone but to develop a healing relationship with who you are, how you got here, and ways to move through the challenges of life.
For many of us, our parenting style is very much shaped by our own experiences of being parented. I often help parents and caregivers explore intergenerational patterns, the purpose these may have served, and where they may no longer be needed or relevant to the needs of your family. In our work together, I want my family clients to become active agents in their personal development, relationship style, and sense of empowerment so that they have everything they need to feel successful long after therapy has ended.
Individual Therapy
Our early relational experiences laid the foundation for how we show up in the world and in future relationships. If your early life experiences have been painful or did not give you what you needed, you may have developed a range of strategies to protect, adapt, survive, or even abandon parts of who you are.
As human beings, we are incredibly resourceful and skilled at finding ways to protect and prevent future hurts, while still maintaining connection as best we can. I am invested in creating space for you to safely explore, organize, understand, and heal any protective strategies and patterns that you may have needed in earlier years so you can be freed up to live with greater security, self-worth, and emotional intimacy in the present.
Where you might have needed to protect, bury, or deny painful experiences or unmet needs, it can be difficult to make sense of the struggles that are shaping your present world. Perhaps you were not allowed to make mistakes, told that your emotions were too big, or maybe there were parts of yourself that needed to be tucked away in order to get the connection you needed. You may be vulnerable to feeling unworthy or unlovable. I welcome all parts of you and your experience, especially those that have been wounded, isolated, or hidden. Together, we will explore those parts that have felt too overwhelming or unsafe to experience.
When working with relationships, whether I am working with you as an individual or a couple, I want to explore the maps you have for connection, emotional intimacy, and communication. It may not always have been safe to express your needs or emotional experiences with important others.
My role is to help you feel clear about what your emotions are telling you about your relationship needs. If you are angry and critical, perhaps you are feeling the need to pursue for connection. If you feel defensive or shut down, perhaps you are trying to dial down the tension. If you are ruled by or disconnected from your emotions you may find that you are also disconnected from your needs, desires, and goals. Together we will explore the strategies you have developed for communication needs and emotions with others so that you can reconnect to who you truly are.
My Background
Prior to becoming a Resident in Marriage and Family Therapy, I received my Master of Arts in Marriage & Family Therapy from Liberty University. My clinical experience consisted of a year of being a Graduate Counseling Intern with a full case load consisting mostly of couple and family clients. During this time, I also worked as a Clinical Testing Administrator, where I facilitated personality assessments and provided clinical psychologists with behavioral observations of testers. I also have a Bachelor of Arts in Criminal Justice/Criminology from the University of Maryland, College Park. I have 10+ years of experience in a combination of law enforcement and federal government roles which allows me to connect with clients currently serving in these environments.
I can be described as a therapist who is critically thinking, culturally aware, personable, and client-focused.
Anwar currently works under the supervision of Rachel Pendergraft Beck, LMFT. In the event that clients have any questions or concerns about his work, his supervisor can be contacted at: rpendergraftbeck@thecenterforconnection.com, (703) 878-3290, 3930 Walnut St, Suite 250, Fairfax, VA 22030.