As single individuals, we often long for a partner who feels like “our person”. In fact, this is one of the core questions we ask couples in marriage counseling or couples therapy. Sometimes the search is short, other times, it’s long and arduous and painful. Nevertheless, when you find your “person”, you may not wonder about what you might do if the relationship doesn’t look or feel the same as it once did in the early months. Below is a list of indicators you and your partner may be ready for marriage counseling or couples therapy before these issues become a fracture that is hard to mend.
1. The tone of communication in your marriage is negative.
In the early stages, the relationship may feel whimsical and free of stress or angst. Over time, moments of disconnection or conflict may create an emotional distance or protection. As a result, sarcasm, resentment, anger, criticism or withdrawal may breed. These underlying emotions may create a tone of negativity, contempt or irritation. If you are recognizing you and your partner have gotten to this point, it may be time to connect with a professional for couples therapy.
2. Trust has been broken.
If someone steps outside of the relationship with an emotional or physical affair, rebuilding trust is often a requirement for the continuation of the relationship. Broken trust in a relationship does not always mean an affair. Trust is broken when a person feels ignored, betrayed or not prioritized. When emotional trust is broken, we begin to lose confidence our partner is going to be someone we can rely on, turn to or support us when we are needing them. Leaning into marriage counseling can support the rebuilding of trust in a safe, structured manner.
3. You hold back from your partner or spouse.
If you find yourself holding back on sharing your thoughts, feelings or needs with your partner, it is time to get into couples therapy to understand how your relationship got to this point. This “holding back” or sense of needing to protect oneself may have started due to the negative tone, broken trust, or feeling disconnected. It’s important to explore how the relationship got to this point, so you and your partner can find new ways to relate that are more open, vulnerable, soft, and responsive.
4. Repeating the same fight in your marriage over and over again.
In relationships, we create patterns. At times, these patterns can become a problem all on their own, regardless of the content of the fight. Painful patterns often mean that the needs of either partner are not getting met. In marriage counseling, you and your partner will identify the miscues or flaws within your current pattern. Your therapist can support you in creating a new, healthier map of communication. This map will feel clear and effective while nurturing each of your needs in the relationship.
5. You feel more like roommates than lovers.
Has the sexual part of your relationship faltered? In couples counseling, you and your partner can work on understanding your intimate world much better. You can explore your individual relationship with your sexuality and how it may impact your relationship. Additionally, you can identify if other relational factors are getting in the way of maintaining a playful and desirable sexual relationship.
Interested in Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling in Fairfax, VA?
If you and your partner are ready to tackle any relationship “hot spots” and improve your connection, our couples’ therapists can help. We have counseling offices in both Woodbridge and Fairfax, VA. If you want to begin couples therapy or marriage counseling, just follow these simple steps:
- Schedule an appointment at one of our convenient locations in Woodbridge or Fairfax.
- Meet with a skilled couples therapist.
- Begin to explore connection and confidence as a couple.
Other Therapy Services at The Center for Connection, Healing and Change
Relationship problems are complicated and often individual members of your family need additional support. Our therapists want to help support your entire family. Therefore, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our Northern Virginia counseling offices. Our skilled, caring therapists provide counseling for individuals, family therapy, sex therapy, yoga for healing, meditation and mindfulness practice, couples therapy and marriage counseling. When you are ready, we would be honored to be a part of your relationship journey.